The Most Perfect Gift

The gifts that make Mother's Day, or any other holiday special, are those handmade gifts. You know, the perfect little handprint or picture taken. Before being a mom I wouldn't have seen the beauty behind these gifts. There is a song that talks about mothers and how they deserve an arm full of roses, but are satisfied with a hand full of weeds. I never saw the beauty in dandelions until I recieved my first handful from a very precious little girl. The joy you get from knowing that they saw something beautiful and thought of you. 

This year was probably the best Mother's Day I have had since becoming a mom. I recieved the best gift, and it didn't come from the store, didn't cost any money, and it came from the heart of the most loving, caring and kind seven year old I know. She was so excited about her gift (that was in a big gift bag with tissue paper and all), that she couldn't wait until today to give it to me. What I found in the bag were two pieces of paper with ALOT of writing. Something that I knew she worked very hard on, especially since she sounded out every word. Then, when she started reading them to me, my heart melted. Paul and I couldn't hold back the tears. 

Here is the card.

On the inside she wrote:

Mom I know how hard it is to take care of kids. I am sorry for all of the times I was bad and given you a hard time and when I was selfish. Love Kristen

On the back she wrote:

Thank you for reading. I hope you can read this. Love Kristen

She also gave me this.

On the back of this she wrote:

You are the best mom in the world. You make me food and you clean the house and you know how to take care of us. Love, Kristen. 

I have fixed all of the spelling errors, although they made the card so much sweeter. As my sister put it today, these are the memories you run back into the fire to get. A memory that will forever be cherished. I am so thankful that I am the mother to three awesome kids. 

Strabismus

Lauren has been seen by a pediatric optometrist since birth. One of the best I might add and the same doctor that saw her in the NICU. When we thought she would need glasses by a year old due to ROP and her brain hemorhaging (and she didn't), the first words out of his mouth were, "Isn't God good." I knew right then that we were where we should be. 

Lauren has been seen every 6 months to follow her strabismus. Strabismus is when your eyes don't line up in the same direction and because of this they don't look at the same object at the same time (or more commonly known as "crossed eyes"). Lauren does "correct" it some on her own by putting her chin down when she needs to focus on something. This is usually how she watches television. 

Her strabismus really hadn't changed much, and her doctor said if it continued how it was, he wouldn't do anything to correct it. It really wasn't too bad and could only be seen by a professional. Over the past few months I thought it was getting worse, but thought maybe it was just me. I have a way of being a little über cray cray when it comes to my kids health. I have self diagnosed them with all sorts of crazy things over the years. 

Anyways, I digress. A few weeks ago I was sitting at the table and Kristen was standing behind me and Lauren came in to ask a question. That's when I knew it was worse. I didn't know if she was asking me the question or Kristen. In fact, it didn't really look like she was talking to either of us. That's when I mentioned it to Paul and he said he could tell. I knew this possibly meant she would need surgery.

Both Paul and I agree that it should be done sooner rather than later. It will only get worse and would eventually affect her vision. It will be an outpatient procedure and the doctor will go in and weaken the muscles in both eyes to try to even things out. There is a possibility that she would need another surgery to tweak it, but more than likely she won't. She will be given anesthesia, which is best because she would do none of this willingly....but that is the part that scares me the most. There are just so many horror stories and Lauren is still very tiny for her age. All sorts of bad scenarios have run through my mind and since her surgery isn't scheduled until June 24th, I am sure I will have 100 more horrible scenarios added to the already growing list. 

Just thinking about this gives me anxiety. What's that saying? No one can pray and worry at the same time....